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Expressing gratitude
Events happen that we do not have the ability or power to change, such
as an accident, a death, or a disappointment. Instead of thinking
negatively and feeling the whole world is down on us, we can change
our attitude about what happened. At the time we do not feel positive.
If we can look at the situation as someone else might see it, we can
get out of our own heads and consider other factors which had an
impact on what happened. Later, we can look back and realize that some
positive results or changes have taken place for which we are
grateful.
We can find large as well as small things about which we are
grateful. Martin Seligman in "Authentic Happiness" advices a
"blessings exercise." He suggests that we write down three things each
day for which we are grateful. As we practice writing down our
blessings our attitudes will become more positive.
It is a good idea to let people know what we value about them while
they are alive. Often these people helped us develop our values or
were models to us as we were maturing. Frequently, we assume others
know what is in our minds. Just sharing our positive thoughts would be
a wonderful gift for them and for us. Phil (my husband) and I have
started writing what we personally value in others instead of
professionally written greeting cards. (However, when we find "a
perfect" card for someone we will send it.)
As we think about all the positive things we have learned about
which we are grateful, we may find ourselves smiling. We can share
these smiles with those around us, which may improve their attitude.
If they are colleagues or family members, they may start sharing their
more positive attitudes and smiles with others.
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Greetings!
This April we had many violent thunderstorms with lightning
surrounding us. (We had the opportunity to reset our electric clocks
frequently.) As I went out dressed in my "rain attire," I heard
myself singing, "Though April showers may come your way, they bring
the flowers that bloom in May." Now it is May and I am enjoying the
beautiful spring flowers.
The subject discussed in April's "Pilot Your Life" was "Choices."
This month we will continue to think about choices and consider how
our attitudes affect our choices and lives.
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Benefits of positive attitudes
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 People
keep telling us we should have a positive attitude. However, what
should we do when negative thoughts or concerns keep going through
our minds? It helps me to write them down. Then those negative
thoughts are anchored on paper and I can let them go.
If we have a positive attitude we will feel more fulfilled,
happier, healthier, and more productive. What I do as a coach is
help people make positive attitude adjustments. Then, they can make
the changes they want to make with smiles on their faces.
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Attitudes are filters
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Our attitudes act as a filter through which we interpret the value
of what happens in our lives. We can interpret a happening as an
impossible obstacle or as an opportunity to learn and grow. If we
consciously choose to look for positive opportunities or interpret
situations as being potentially positive, we will be less likely to
think in negative terms.
Often we do not realize the effect of our negative filters or
attitudes. I help clients learn how to develop more positive
attitudes. As their attitudes become more positive, they can make
changes in their lives which have seemed beyond their reach. I help
them consider what they really want in their lives, make plans to
accomplish those goals and help them focus on implementing their
plans.
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Opportunities
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In May, many of us are affected by the school year which is drawing
to a close. This may mean moving to a new class or a new school next
year. Graduating may mean we need to find a job to start on a
career. The spring and summer months are considered a time when
families and friends can spend more time together and build stronger
relationships.
Many professional organizations take a summer break, so we have
some time to engage in different activities. We can use May as a
time to review the first quarter of the year and think about how we
want to use our time, energy and other resources during the rest of
2004.
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Positive attitude adjustment tips
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 (1)
Write down three gratitudes (or blessings) every day in a journal or
notebook. (2) Read them when we are feeling down or panicky. (3)
Write down negative thoughts so we can let them go. (4) Practice
smiling in the mirror and at other people to improve our attitudes
and provide hope to others. (5) Remember we CAN develop more
positive attitudues which will help us realize and develop our gifts
so we experience more happiness and success.
PHONE me at 972-690-0442 to make positive attitude adjustments in
your life. Check my web site at www.pilot-your-life.com to see the
titles for speeches and workshops which I present. Contact me at
maphurd@mail.smu.edu for more information and to schedule a
complimentary coaching session.
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