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MY RECENT HIGHS AND LOWS
Volume 6, Number 2 - June/July 2007
 Greetings!
MY HIGHS AND LOWS are what one of my clients (and many others)
call "Peaks and Valleys." She lives in Colorado and was
mountain climbing recently. She was thinking that now she is moving up out
of a valley toward the peak of a mountain. However, she realizes there will
be other valleys in her future. She knows she will climb upward toward new
peaks which will be beautiful.
MY HIGH WAS CELEBRATING MY 80TH BIRTHDAY in March. It was
great to see so many friends who live in the Dallas area. Messages from other parts of
the USA
added to the fun of the occasion. (Click on Other Birthday Pictures.)
AWARENESS OF BEING A "SENIOR"
DURING THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS more of my coaching has been
with individuals dealing with decisions concerning retirement, losing a
spouse, and downsizing. I have personal and professional experiences in
these areas which my clients and their families have valued.
MY DECISION AFTER MY BIRTHDAY was to share with my readers of
Pilot-Your-Life that I am coaching "Seniors" and their families.
Several of my executive clients have been faced with realizing their older
parents can not function as well as they have in the past. They want to
respect the wishes of their parents, yet help them make wise choices.
THRIVING AFTER 55 is a section in my website which
provides helpful information. PHONE ME AT 972.690.0442 or 972.979.6001 for
a complementary session to discuss issues that deal with seniors.
INTENSIVE CARE (ICU) WAITING ROOMS
 DURING MY HUSBAND
PHIL'S OPEN HEART SURGERY we waited in the ICU Waiting Room. The chief operating
room nurse told me before the operation that she would be phoning me every
1 1/2 hours to let me know how the operation was proceeding. That is the
first time I have received such information while waiting for surgery to be
completed. Afterward the surgeon came to see me in the waiting room to tell
me that the operation, although difficult, was successful. He expected that
Phil would wake up around midnight.
UNFORTUNATELY, MANY PEOPLE WAIT for many hours with no
progress reports. There was one family waiting for 12 hours before they
received any word about their loved one!
MY LOW WAS WHEN PHIL did not wake up by midnight.
MY NEXT HIGH was 4 days later when he did awaken. Phil
recognized his oldest daughter and the rest of us who had been keeping a
vigil in the ICU waiting room.
ICU WAITING ROOMS DEVELOP their own culture. People share
their fears and hopes. When they are there for several days they have
certain chairs where they sit. Someone referred to the space I was staying
as my "condo!" When someone's loved one is moved out of ICU to a
room, people congratulate the family and wish them well. New friendships
are formed. The support other families gave me helped me during many
difficult days. Also, friends who kept in touch by phone and came by the
waiting room helped me be optimistic. In addition, they provided me with
wonderful conversations, food, and bottles of water!
HELPING PHIL AS A PATIENT
THE STAFF APPRECIATED knowing which was
Phil's "hearing ear." I noticed that the staff was saying
"Mr. Hurd" when they were asking him
questions. I suggested they say "Phil." When they said
"Phil" in a loud voice, he would open his eyes.
"OPEN YOUR EYES" is what everybody who entered his
room would say to him. One morning I woke up thinking, "Phil, cannot
see without his glasses on." That morning we put glasses on him. Then,
when he opened his eyes he could see the person who was talking to him!
NEXT WE NEEDED TO FIND A MOVEMENT that he could make since he
was unable to squeeze a hand. We noticed that he could wiggle his toes. We
established that if the answer to a question was "Yes" he would
wiggle his toes. When two people were iin his
room, one of us asked a question while the other watched his toes! After 2
days he started to nod his head to answer "Yes." At the same time
he started moving his head back and forth to indicate "No."
PEOPLE DIFFER IN THE MOVEMENTS they can make when they are
recovering. The family and staff need to notice what movements the patient
can make and then come to an agreement to indicate "Yes" and
"No". Several years ago the father of one of my clients opened his
eyes wide for "Yes" and stuck out his tongue for "No."
EVERY TIME WE WENT in to see Phil. We would ask if he was in
pain. If he nodded we would ask questions to locate the pain. Also, we
would ask if he wanted medicine to stop the pain. In the beginning he would
usually nod "Yes." Later he began to shake his head
"No." This gave him some control over what was happening to him.
IMPORTANT TIPS I AM FOLLOWING
1. PROVIDE A RECORD of medicines, an up-to-date copy of a
"Statutory Durable Power of Attorney," "The Medical Power of
Attorney," "Directive to Physicians and Family or
Surrogates," and "Declaration of Guardian in the Event of Later
Incapacity or Need of Guardian."
2. ENSURE YOUR LOVED ONE IS GETTING excellent medical care.
(When a patient is unconscious or semiconscious, he needs to have someone
with him who understands his needs, likes, and dislikes.)
3. SLEEP, PRAY, MEDITATE, eat wisely, drink plenty of water,
and exercise. (Short catnaps in a chair help me.)
4. READ, KNIT, do crossword puzzles.
(Do anything positive that helps you relax.)
5. ACCEPT OFFERS OF HELP. I realize I can not do everything
myself and it is "OK" to ask for and graciously accept help.
6. PARK IN SAFE, LIGHTED AREAS with the car facing forward.
Security personnel will usually see that you get to your auto safely. (I
park faciing forward so I can more easily see if
it is safe to leave a parking space.)
DR. MARY ALICE HURD
 MARY ALICE IS
AFFILIATED WITH SUCCESS DISCOVERIES a consortium of highly-qualified
independent coaches representing multiple coaching specialties. As a
collaborative team, we provide a broad wealth of knowledge and expertise
for the benefit of corporate and individual clients. For our latest
information, click on Success Discoveries.
DR. MARY ALICE HURD IS AN EXECUTIVE COACH AND LICENSED
PSYCHOLOGIST. She integrates her experience as an organizational
psychological consultant with 30 years as a psychology professor at
Southern Methodist
University. She
received her coaching training in the MentorCoach
program. Mary Alice has been coaching individuals and groups over the phone
since 2001. She also presents workshops and speeches to organizations and
groups in person. (For further details click on biography.)
A "SENIOR" CLIENT WROTE, "Dr. Mary Alice Hurd has touched my life with her very talented
telephone coaching in a special way. ... Many thanks go to her for helping
me to think through a serious personal crisis and to reach a positive
solution."
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