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Enthusiasm and work
Let's think back to when we were very young. When we woke up in the
morning, we wanted to play. Play meant exploring, learning, and doing
what we chose to do with our friends. Children's play is often based
on role-playing what they see adults doing. Once I heard the
neighborhood children deciding on their roles for the day. The
youngest little boy felt "OK" about being the baby in the game.
However, he kept asking, "Who's going to take care of us when Mommy
and Daddy go to work." When someone volunteered to be the baby sitter,
he felt safe and did what he was told to do in the play! A
three-year-old neighbor wanted to dig in the ground whenever he could.
He would take what he found in to have his mother put it in a safe
place. Perhaps he discovered the field of archeology and is happily
digging someplace in the world today. How many of us enthusiastically
did something as a child that we still do today? As a child I loved to
listen and talk with people of all ages. This is an important skill
which I use daily as a coach.
Some of us love our work or profession. When we wake up in the
morning we are enthusiastic about our tasks for the day.
Unfortunately, some people dread waking up in the morning. They may
not have a job or something they are excited about doing each day.
Other people may have gone into a profession so they could support
themselves and a family. They may decide later to change careers so
they can accomplish a longtime dream. If we think about the things we
enjoyed doing as children, we may discover ways to bring meaning into
our present lives by remembering or finding our passion. We may be
able to follow our dreams in our work, as a hobby, or as a volunteer
project.
We may not feel we can completely change careers. However, we can
think about our jobs in a different way. If we look at the bigger
impact of our job we may realize we are providing hope to other people
just by the way we do our job and our tone of voice. We can put more
of ourselves into our job and may discover unexpected joys and
fulfillment. If we get discouraged, we need to remember few people
express their appreciation and thanks. However, we can express special
thanks to others for doing their job well. When I thank people for
answering my questions carefully and quickly, or for keeping a rest
room clean they often say a surprised, "Oh, thank you." When I notice
how professional or well groomed someone is, I try to tell them.
Frequently, the person has said "Thank you, you've made my day." These
are some ways that we can share our enthusiasm, joy and innocence with
others.
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Greetings!
It is easier to notice people when the weather is comfortable.
This month we are not shivering and may not be feeling the hottest
weather of the summer. We can notice children's enthusiasm, wonder
and eagerness to learn as much as they can about their world. Most
children have an excited innocence and spontaniety. Many of us were
fortunate to have been encouraged during childhood to try things and
develop new skills. However, as children grow older they may be told
that they should be realistic and not be so enthusiastic about life.
So, they learn to move from innocence toward cynicism.
I was inspired by the author John Izzo during a recent
presentation he gave. Tears were running down my cheeks as he shared
stories about renewing feelings of joy and wonder in our lives.
Immediately after the program, I purchased his new book "Second
Innocence." The subtitle is "Rediscovering Joy and Wonder." (For
information about how to order this inspiring book, contact me at
maphurd @mail.smu.edu. or read my brief review of his book at
www.pilot-your- life.com.) In this issue of "Pilot Your Life," I
will share some of John Izzo's ideas with some of my thoughts and
experiences.
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Innocence and cynicism
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 Izzo
has concluded that there are basically two ways to approach life.
One view is with innocence and the other is with cynicism. Most of
us started out with an innocent approach to life. Hopefully, we can
still remember a time of innocence when we were enthusiastic, filled
with wonder and believed in ourselves and others.
Many people respond to innocence in other people, by saying or
implying, "You're too immature and naive. As you grow up you will
see life as it is -- and not through rose-colored glasses." This
feedback tends to prompt people to become cynical; then others
respond, "Now, you are being realistic." While gradually losing
their innocence they are losing their enthusiasm, excitement and joy
of living. We can make choices to pilot our lives toward
opportunities to experience joy and wonder in many areas of our
lives.
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Joy in the present
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When we watch and listen to the conversations of young children, we
need to notice they are living in the present. Yesterday is over,
and tomorrow seems far away and unattainable. One little boy said,
"I want Santa Claus to come down the chimney RIGHT NOW!" When we try
to explain to young children that they need to wait for something,
they may start to cry. We try to reason with them but they do not
understand because they are living in the present. When we spend our
time thinking about the past or what may happen in the future, we
can miss a lot of the joys, wonders and even miracles that are
happening around us. If we focus on our surroundings in the present,
we may be accused of looking at the world through rose-colored
glasses. I believe that, instead, we can see the world without dark
glasses clouded by the past or smoky because of what we fear in the
future.
"Misery loves company," is a common expression. Perhaps you have
noticed a miserable person saying something that hurt one or more
other people. When that happens we can choose not to join that
negative spiral. We could try to get that person to focus on the
present by describing what we see. For example, saying, "You seem to
be unhappy right now." Perhaps we could inquire, "What could we do
now that would help you feel better." Some people prefer to be alone
when they are upset. We can ask, "Would you prefer to be alone now?"
Sometimes in order to take care of ourselves, we may need to leave a
negative situation even if it is only for a little while so we can
get back to focusing on the joys in "our present."
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What is important
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If we are busy doing many things as fast as we can, we may later
realize we are going in the wrong direction. My mother was driving
us down the highway to visit relatives who had moved to a different
city. My mother stopped to buy gas and asked, "Is this the road to
Ft. Wayne?" The attendant said, "Yes, ma'am, but the road goes both
ways." Mother asked, "What do you mean?" "Well ma'am, you are headed
in the wrong direction!" As an adult driver, I believe in checking
directions to be certain I am at least headed in the right
direction. It is always wise to take the time to focus on what is
important to us so we do not use our energy on unimportant
activities. When we have established our goals and made a plan, we
can remind ourselves to focus on what is important.
Sometimes we may hesitate to change our way of thinking and
living. If we realize we have become cynical, we need to make the
choice to recapture innocence so we can think and explore with a
childlike wonder and enthusiasm. We need to celebrate small steps
and not berate ourselves if we fall naturally into cynicism. We can
try to help others move toward appreciating the wonders in nature,
and the joys of living and working in our world.
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Bill's discovery
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 This
true story is about a highly intelligent man named Bill. As a child,
he was eager to learn and played hard. He worked with his father on
projects which included adding a room to their house and maintaining
and fixing automobiles. When he was in high school his family moved
to a new area while his parents were having major problems. Bill was
befriended by boys who were using drugs and alcohol. The good news
is that years later he joined Alcoholics Anonymous and took control
of his life. One thing he could do well was repair automobiles. So,
that became his job. At night and on weekends he started remodeling
his home, growing flowers, and landscaping his front and back yard.
Two years ago he decided to move to a new state in the Southwest
and buy a home on 1 1/2 acres. He decided not to find a new job
immediately. He cleared out "pack rat nests", rocks, plus other
debris, designed and made a beautiful cactus garden. Next, he
remodeled some of the house. Before starting any other projects, he
decided he needed to get a job and earn some more money. He quickly
obtained a job as a mechanic and was doing well financially.
However, he hated his job. Bill decided he would like to become a
landscaper and get paid for it. One Saturday, while he and his
girlfriend were visiting a nursery, his girlfriend said to the
owner, "You should hire Bill because he loves to work on gardens."
The result was Bill was hired. Now, his voice over the phone sounds
happy. He said he does not make as much money but he reminded me
that I had told him, "Love your work and the money will follow."
Bill added, "I found my passion! I love my work and at the end of
the day I am tired but it's a good tired!" Bill is learning
something new every day. He likes his colleagues and is thrilled
they are using some of his ideas and suggestions.
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Tips to innocence
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Tips to recapture our innocence include, (1) Cherish and develop an
innocent rather than a cynical approach to life. (2) Share our
enthusiasm, joy and innocence with others. (3) Experience the joy of
focusing on the present. (4) Find and/or remember our passions. (5)
Find ways to do what is important to us and check that we are headed
in the right direction.
PHONE me at 972-690-0442 to schedule a complimentary coaching
session. Check my web site at www.pilot-your-life.com to see the
titles for speeches and workshops which I present. Contact me at
maphurd@mail.smu.edu for more information.
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