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Integrity, Partnership, and Appreciation after a Disaster
Volume 4, No. 9 September 2005
Greetings!
THE LIGHTHOUSE REPRESENTS a beacon of hope and a guide in the
dark to people traveling through stormy weather. Watching the pictures of
Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath has been distressing. There have been
many opportunities for each of us to help people whose lives have been
completely disrupted. Many evacuees have come to Dallas so we have had an opportunity to
personally hear people's stories, share our sincere sympathy, and try to
help fellow human beings begin new chapters in their lives. There will
continue to be opportunities for us to help each other.
MANY
PEOPLE ARE DEMONSTRATING their leadership skills. Most of them have shown integrity,
worked together in a variety of partnerships, and have expressed appreciation
or affirmations to others. These three leadership qualities are presented
in the form of a thought-provoking parable in "The
Leadership Pill", a book by Ken Blanchard and Marc Muchnick. Their message is that there is no pill that
makes effective leaders. However, by combining integrity,
partnership, and appreciation a leader becomes more effective and helps
develop other leaders. These qualities can help leaders in all situations
be more effective.
Integrity
INTEGRITY IS BEING DEMONSTRATED by the millions of people who
have responded to the hurricane disasters. It is as if their inner spirit is
responding to the great needs of other people. They sincerely want to help.
Fortunately, people think of different things to do. Personal friends in Dallas and other
states sent clothes to my daughter (Carol Anne Gordon) to take to the
Battered Women's Foundation. The Battered Women's Foundation is providing
apartments for over 400 families. (If you would like to know what they need
now, click on Battered
Women's Foundation). Whole Foods is providing day-old baked goods. For
years Carol Anne has been collecting "bears" of all sizes. Now
these bears are comforting many children of all ages. Recent requests for
items that would comfort adults are clean pillows and good-smelling
pillowcases.
ACTING
WITH INTEGRITY means acting in line with our values and our hearts. When we
do this others usually feel they can trust us. Then, they also feel they
can act with integrity.
IMAGINE
WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE if everybody in an organization acted according to
their highest values. They could all function at higher levels to
accomplish their goals and achieve the organization's mission.
Partnership
PARTNERSHIPS ARE DEVELOPING between people who never knew each
other before and between organizations who may be competitors. The needs
uncovered by Hurricane Katrina are too great for one individual or
organization to resolve. However, as people work together they can
accomplish seemingly impossible tasks.
PEOPLE
BUILD RELATIONSHIPS while they are learning and sharing who they really
are. Working together as a team can be a rewarding and satisfying
experience. Even small and seemingly insignificant tasks can be important
and meaningful.
IN
ORGANIZATIONS, BUILDING GOOD RELATIONSHIPS with your team is a key to
effective leadership according to The Leadership Pill. Team members and
leaders trust each other and share information so everyone understands the
big picture. The big picture of how people will recover from Hurricane
Katrina is difficult to comprehend. We need to do what we can do and keep
everyone informed so we are all working in a positive direction.
Affirmation or Appreciation
THANKING SOMEONE FOR WHAT THEY ARE DOING, or have done, is
expressing appreciation and is affirming that the person is of value.
Sometimes giving someone a hug or a pat on the shoulder is appreciated.
However, it is wise to ask permission to give a hug because some people do
not like to be touched.
AFFIRMING
TO SOMEONE THAT THEY ARE "OK" can be greatly appreciated. The
following example occurred shortly after evacuees arrived in Dallas. My husband
had gone into a discount store to find a specific watch. I asked whether he
had found it. "No, and..." he pointed to a saleswoman on the
other side of the section "...she's not helpful!" Since she was
the only clerk in sight, I went over to ask her for help. While I waited, I
heard how rude she was being to a customer. The customer turned away,
saying to herself, "I have just lost my family and everything and she
is treating me like I'm nobody." I touched her on the shoulder gently
and said, "It's not you, she was just treating my husband the same way.
I don't think she knows how to treat customers." The young woman
looked into my eyes and said, "Oh, thank you. I just thought it was
me." We talked a few minutes. She was happy that she had found her
mother and her mother had been able to get insulin. She took me over to
meet her mother and I introduced her to my husband. I told her I have not
been able to find out about a friend of mine who lived in New Orleans. She told me how I could
possibly learn about my friend. I thanked her and wished her well. I
appreciated her giving me suggestions and she was happy to be able to help
me. Unfortunately, I have not yet found Susan Buzick
of Arabella
Street.
WHEN
PEOPLE ARE HURTING they may not express their thanks. That does not mean
they do not appreciate what you may do to try to help. We have all had
experiences when we were numb, angry, or frustrated. Later, we may have
wondered what we said or did. As fellow human beings we can try to be a
beacon of hope to others.
Things to remember and do
- LIVE according to your
values.
- DEVELOP PARTNERSHIPS and work
together for progress.
- REMIND yourself that good
can come out of difficult or tragic happenings.
- AFFIRM AND THANK others.
Stay in touch with your spirituality and your belief in God
 SPIRITUAL BELIEFS
may be challenged during critical times. I was glad to read in the newspaper
that the majority of people interviewed were not blaming the hurricane on
God. Hurricanes happen in certain parts of our world. Hurricane Katriina was one of the most violent ones in our
history. When tragedies occur we often feel devastated. Later, we may
realize that good came out of that situation. We may not realize it for a
long time, but we often find that we grow and find unexpected opportunities
which we recognize later.
THE
PICTURE OF "THE GOOD SHEPHERD" above is taken from a tapestry painting
by Lillian Troxell Hurd (my husband's
grandmother). It was painted in 1902. (To view the larger painting you can
click on the Good
Shepherd Painting.)
PHIL
AND I WANT TO SHARE THIS BEAUTIFUL REPRESENTATION OF THE GOOD SHEPHERD. To
us it represents love, caring, and peace. Please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. This month, the painting is on loan to the The Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd at 11122 Midway Road
(Midway at Northaven), Dallas, Texas.
About Mary Alice Hurd and Success Discoveries
 DR. MARY ALICE
HURD coaches people who feel their professional
and/or personal lives are out of control. She also coaches successful
people who want to experience more joy and prosperity. Mary Alice will act
as your business partner to help you become the pilot of your life.
AS AN
EXECUTIVE COACH AND LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST, Mary Alice integrates her
experience as an organizational psychological consultant and 30 years as a
psychology professor at Southern Methodist
University. She
received her coaching training in the MentorCoach program. Mary Alice has
been coaching mainly over the phone since 2001. (For further details click
on biography.)
FOR
THE BENEFIT OF HER CLIENTS, Mary Alice is working with a team of highly
qualified independent coaches representing multiple coaching specialities in a consortium called Success
Discoveries. As a collaborative team they provide a broad wealth of
knowledge and expertise for the benefit of corporate and individual
clients. Visit the Success Discoveries shopping cart section at www.successdiscoveries.com
where coaching opportunities and workshops are posted each week.
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