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CREATE SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENTS
A CLIENT (I will call her "Joan") has been
taking control of her life. Joan's professional career
involves working on important projects which can become all
consuming. She realized she was so focused on her professional
career that she was not allowing herself to "have a life."
When Joan started coaching she expressed her desire to live a
more balanced life and find ways to express more of her
"creative side." She has started doing fun things with her
friends, rather than just talking with them over the phone.
She loves to write but had not allowed herself to just write
what she wanted to write. Although she uses her ability to
write in her job she wants to write for herself. Now, she gets
up each morning at 5:00 a.m., makes herself a cup of tea and
goes to her own special "writing haven." She has removed all
job related things from her favorite desk. She has a vase with
flowers on it and lights some candles. Then she writes for 30
minutes. She finds she is more centered and calm. At present
she is ready to send some of her writing to an expert writer
she trusts. Joan knows he will give her an honest evaluation.
She is ready now to nourish and develop her creative
abilities. In addition, she has found that the calmness she
feels each morning after she has written for 30 minutes
carries on through the day. When she arrives at work this
feeling of calmness helps her to empower her staff and
creatively handle the crises that arise there.
CREATING SUPPORTIVE environments is not
limited to physical spaces but includes relationships with
people. As human beings we need to have supportive
relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. If we try
to be independent and do everything ourselves, it may be scary
for us to share personal information with others and/or to ask
for help. This is why we need to learn who we can trust and
who is concerned about our well-being. One of the biggest
advantages to having a coach is that we know we can trust our
coach and the coach is committed to helping us be the best we
can be.
PERSONALLY, I VALUE my coach highly because
she is like a business partner and also my mentor. By having a
coach I continue to learn about myself and how to be a better
coach to my clients.
DEVELOPING SYSTEMS that become automatic
habits are creating supportive environments. For example, the
time we spend looking for specific items at home or at work
can be used to do what we want to do if we develop a system
that will eliminate the problem. One problem I had was, "Where
are my glasses?" The system I developed is when I remove my
glasses, I only lay them down in one of three places. Phil, my
husband, frequently can not find his wallet. He is presently
trying to only place it in one of three places.
CREATING ENVIRONMENTS that improve our quality
of lifeis a joy Phil and I share. Our latest ritual is to
clear our shared desk each night before we go to bed. During
that time we talk and share ideas. In the morning it is
wonderful to walk into our joint office and see a
neat desk!
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Greetings!
I invite you to join me for a
- SPECIAL COACHING HAPPY HOUR!
- Each Monday evening during November 2004.
- From 7:30-8:30 p.m. Central Standard Time
- Phone 972.671.2899 to be coached about
- Crucial conversations with a co-worker, family member,
or friend or on another subject of your choice.
If
you can not reach me because I am already coaching someone,
you can phone 972.690.0442. Then, you can leave your name,
phone number, and/or email so that I can contact you ASAP.
SEVERAL OF MY CLIENTS and many people I have talked with
recently are feeling overwhelmed and out of control of their
lives. One picture of this would be a person walking as fast
as they can on a treadmill machine while trying to keep
several balls in the air at the same time. Now, let's think
about how we can have more control our lives. This month in
the left hand column , entitled "Create Supportive
Environments," I share how one of my clients is enjoying using
her creative ability in a calm environment she has created.
WHILE READING this newsletter, remember we need to realize
that time is finite. We each have only 24 hours in each day so
we need to realize how valuable time is so we can use our time
positively and not waste it because we can not save it to use
later and we can not borrow it from the future.
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WHERE ARE
WE? |
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HOW DO WE FEEL about our lives? Do we feel overwhelmed?
What do we spend most of our time doing? In order to use our
time more wisely, we need to consider what is important in our
lives and what is urgent. Unfortunately, we may neglect what
is most important and deal with frequently arising urgent
situations. To begin to have better control of our lives let's
list the activities that we spend the most time doing. First,
we can just list them. Next, put a * beside the
activities we think are important and a U next to
urgent activities. We need to write down the amount of time we
spend doing these tasks during a day. Just looking at this
list will show us whether we are spending too much of our
precious time on urgent but less important activities.
PRIORITIZE OUR LIST to see if we are doing what is
important to us. We need to make consicous decisions about
what we agree to do. Many of us need to learn how to
graciously say "No" to some requests, in order to do our high
priority activities instead of always honoring the priorities
of others first. We need to plan what we want to do and what
we need to do for ourselves. When we are doing things for
ourselves we need to realize that we are important and that we
are not being selfish when we are taking care of ourselves and
controling our own lives.
***PLEASE PHONE me at 972-690-0442 or email me at
maphurd@mail.smu.edu if you want to talk about where you are
in your life and how you can take control of your own life. I
will schedule a free coaching session with you so you can
consider the options you have. By the way, if you want to send
this newsletter to other people, just click "Forward email" at
the end of this newsletter. |
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TIME
OURSELVES |
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HOW DO WE USE the time that we have? What is our philosophy
about time? When we have an appointment, do we arrive on time?
Through experience I have learned to get dressed first.
Afterwards I can do other activities until it is time to go
out the door. On our daily calendar we enter the time that we
should leave the house in order to arrive on time.
IT CAN BE FUN to estimate how long it takes to do something
and then see how close we are to being accurate. Then, in the
future when doing the same or a similar activity we can make a
more accurate estimate when we are planning our time lines of
steps that need to be completed to finish important projects.
SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE they work best under time pressures.
They use that philosophy to avoid planning ahead so deadlines
can be met easily without having a crisis. Other people plan
ahead. When they are working on a project they consider when
the project is due. They plan to have the project completed
before the deadline so it can be checked, edited, and
polished. Then, they look at the steps that need to be
accomplished and how long each one will take. When planning
our schedules we need to plan for contingencies or emergencies
that may occur so it is wise to schedule more time for each
step. People who believe they work best under pressure usually
never give themselves the opportunity to plan carefully and
complete a project early. When they have to pull "all
nighters" they and others working with them are exhausted for
one or more days afterward. Later they may discover errors
that could have been avoided. |
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MULTITASK |
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PEOPLE DIFFER in the ability to attend to more than one
task at a time. If we can focus on one task until it is
completed we will probably complete it in a shorter time. If
we get distracted or need to switch to another task it will
take us time to get reimmersed in the first project so we can
get back to the place where we were interrupted. Many people
are concerned about the number of people who talk on cell
phones while they are driving. From observation I have decided
some people are extremely poor drivers while they are talking
on their cell phone. However, drivers who do not have to hold
their cell phone because they use headsets or have a mike
attached to the car seem to drive more smoothly.
TALKING ON A CELL PHONE and driving is multitasking. From
observation I have decided some people are extremely poor
drivers while they are talking on their cell phones. However,
drivers who do not have to hold their cell phone because they
use headsets or have a mike attached to the car seem to drive
more smoothly.
I COACH MY CLIENTS from a quiet office where I can listen
intently and concentrate on what they are saying. I am with
that person and listen for the changes in their voices which
communicate so much about how they are feeling. So, I do not
multitask when I am talking on the phone. However, there are
some tasks that do not take my full attention so I listen to
tapes while doing activities that do not require intense
concentration. For example, when I am on a treadmill l usually
am reading something. The time on the treadmill goes by faster
and I learn something. When cooking and doing other homemaking
activities we can often be doing another task at the same
time. Other people have a notepad in the car to write down
ideas or keep a tape recorder with them to record their
thoughts.
PROFESSIONAL HELP can be used to make changes, to get
organized, or to handle unexpected events. On the other hand,
we may just decide to explore new opportunities or to design a
more balanced life. Fortunately, there are coaches who are
available to help us grow and find more happiness. For a free
coaching session contact me (Mary Alice) at 972.690.0442 or
email me at maphurd@mail.smu.edu. To learn more about me,
phone me at 972.671.2899 between 7:30 and 8:30 CST on Monday
evenings during November. You can also visit my web site at
www.pilot-your-life.com. |
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TIPS TO
CONTROL OUR LIVES |
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- CREATE supportive environments.
- DO IMPORTANT activities not just urgent tasks.
- DO THINGS we need to do for ourselves.
- PLAN HOW we use our time.
- MULTITASK when our full attention is not needed on what
we are doing.
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