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Greetings!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS. My husband, Phil, and I want to share our
smiles with you and hope you will share smiles with others
during this season and on into 2005. Since the calendar year
is coming to a close we have the opportunity to think about
where we are in various areas of our lives. Personally, I have
been thinking about my clients over the past three years.
Eighty-seven per cent of them are women executives and
entrepreneurs.
IN FUTURE PILOT-YOUR-LIFE newsletters, I will be focusing
more on information for women executives in business. However,
I believe the information will help both women and men be more
successful and happier in their business and personal lives.
"DISAGREEMENT GUIDELINES" (in the left hand column) shares
the experience of one of my entrepreneurial clients. "Linda"
is balancing her entrepreneurial business with her family
roles of a wife and the mother of two boys.
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"YES, AND
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HOW OVERWHELMED do we feel? We have considered in other
newsletters that we need to say "No" to some requests when we
are already overloaded. However, many women executives believe
that if they say "No" to a request to do something they will
be considered incompetent or "not a good team player." "Yes,
and" is an idea we can add to our business skills repertoire.
This time of year is a good time to try the idea. When someone
asks us to do something we do not have to say "Yes"
immediately and then feel stressed out while we try to add
that ball to the ones we are already balancing. The "Yes, and"
option can be used when we are reluctant or afraid to say
"No."
WITH THE "YES, AND" option we discuss the costs and other
information that will need to be considered. It might be that
the CEO wants a new project to be started and completed within
a short time period. We can share the information of how much
it might cost in overtime, or which other projects will have
to be rescheduled. We might even find it a useful strategy to
say "Yes, and I will look into the costs, plus how and when
this project could be completed." We might have some questions
to ask the requestor to learn how important the project is. It
might be useful for us to think about times we have said "Yes"
and then angry at ourselves afterward because we did not have
the time or energy to do the extra project. Then, we can
consider what might have happened if we had said "Yes, and."
***PLEASE PHONE me at 972-690-0442 or email me at
maphurd@mail.smu.edu if you want to explore the balance in
your own life or how you better use your energy and time. I
will schedule a free coaching session with you. By the way, if
you want to send this newsletter to other people, just click
"Forward email" at the end of this newsletter.
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"I DON'T
HAVE TO DO IT" |
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"I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT" was printed in bold black letters
on a bright yellow lapel button which was nestled in tissue
paper inside a small box which I had just opened. Several
years ago a fellow participant in a stress workshop had made
this button for me. During the workshop I had realized that I
did not have to do everything myself. That button has a
special place in my drawer and I even loan it to people to
wear for a day. Often there are other people who would be
delighted to help us. Recently a Pilot-Your-Life reader told
me that her 6- year-old daughter was helping her pack for
their family vacation in Hawaii. The little girl was counting
and packaging all the vitamins that they needed to take for 10
days. The daughter was delighted to be "a good helper" and her
mother was able to go to bed earlier! This was a "happy
togetherness" time for both of them.
LET OTHERS HELP US. When someone asks me what they can do
to help, I hope they mean it because I can always find
something for people to do. When I ask others what I can do to
help them I expect them to take me up on my offer. By letting
family members and others help us, we can have more balance in
our own lives. As we integrate different areas of our lives,
we will feel more balanced and less overwhelmed.
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READER
FEEDBACK |
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SOME CREATIVE PEOPLE have their best ideas under pressure.
One reader responded to my October Pilot-Your-Life where I
commented that some people believe they work best under time
pressures but have never planned carefully so they could
complete a project early. She shared her experience working as
an account executive in a large advertising firm. The other
personnel learned how to work with one highly creative man on
his time schedule. The other staff members realized his high
quality creative ideas came when he was working under a tight
deadline. So they were not resentful but learned to schedule
their time to fit his creative bursts.
TEST THE "I work best under pressure" belief. Find out
whether it is true for you, your colleagues, friends and/or
family members. We may need to make changes in how we work and
how we perceive the work procedures of others.
SEND COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS to me (Mary Alice) at
maphurd@mail.smu.edu. I will plan to share them with other
readers of Pilot-Your-Life. Also, I will respond to your
emails personally. To learn more about me you may visit my web
site at www.pilot-your-life.com. |
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HELPFUL
TIPS |
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- ESTABLISH DISAGREEMENT guidelines.
- UNDERSTAND YOUR ENERGY sources.
- USE THE "YES, AND" approach.
- LET OTHERS HELP YOU.
- TEST THE "I work best under pressure belief."
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