May2003 PilotYourLIfe
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PILOT YOUR LIFE, Vol. 2, No. 5
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NAVIGATE THE OPPORTUNITIES AND CHALLENGES IN YOUR LIFE
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Welcome to the May issue of PILOT YOUR LIFE. Share it with others who are being or have been affected by layoffs and/or any kind of job loss.
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IN THIS ISSUE:
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1. Comments from Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.
2. Coping with job loss
3. Tips to remember during this time of stress.
4. What would a coach do in this situation?
5. What about the people who are retained after a layoff?
6. Biographical Information
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1. Comments from Mary Alice Gordon Hurd, Ph.D.
Our
world continues to change swiftly. The role of the armed forces personnel who
are in
Unemployment figures continue to be high. Futhermore, in the last several months I have had several readers and clients who are concerned about layoffs. Some people’s jobs have already been abolished. For others rumors are flying about what may happen in the future. Therefore, this month PILOT YOUR LIFE will focus on coping with a job loss. The focus of the June newsletter will be on getting into action after a job loss.
Please share this newsletter with people who fear they will lose their jobs or have already been affected by a layoff. If you have questions, suggestions or comments about these subjects please e-mail them to me at maphurd@mail.smu.edu or contact me at 972-690-0442. Also, if you would like a free coaching session contact me to arrange an appointment.
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2. Coping with job loss.
The loss of a job is a big ending in your life. It is similar to a death. Even if there have been rumors of a pending layoff it is a shock to learn one’s name is on the list. Physiologically a person’s body gets prepared for “fight or flight” as adrenaline flows through one’s body and other changes occur automatically. However, fighting or fleeing may not be an appropriate reaction at that time.
Thoughts that flash through your mind may include: “This can’t be happening to me.” “After all I have done for this organization, how can they do this to me?” “What am I going to do?” “How will I survive and take care of my family?” Accompanying these thoughts are various intense emotions including fear, terror, anger and sadness. People react in different ways to a crisis situation. Some people may just avoid even thinking about the situation, they may just deny that it is happening. Some withdraw into themselves like a turtle. Others go into frantic activity. Another person may be angry and feel like throwing things. Whatever reactions people have, remembering and acting on the tips given below can help a person cope with the job loss.
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3. Tips to remember during this time of stress.
a. Remember you are a worthwhile person and that layoffs are due to poor economic conditions. Realize this is happening to many other people so you have no reason to feel ashamed.
b. Give yourself permission to grieve and feel sad about the job loss.
Research has found that it helps to talk about what has happened and to
grieve about your loss. If you suppress your feelings now they may come
back and cause you difficulties at unexpected times in the future.
c. Your reactions and feelings are occurring because you are going through a stressful time. Talk and/or write about the situation and how you feel now. If you write them down you will not have to keep thinking about them over and over again.
d. In this crisis you may do things automatically without being aware you are doing them. So, if you can’t remember having done something, that is normal for this situation.
e. When you are in a crisis realize you may not be a safe driver. You might just be able to see straight ahead and might not notice what is happening in the traffic around you and what other motorists or pedestrians are doing. At such a time you would be wise to let someone else do the driving.
f. Think about things people could do that would help you. Then, you will be prepared if someone says, “If there is anything I can do let me know.”
g. Although you may feel out of control, think about things that you can control and do them. Doing one little thing shows you have some control.
h. Take care of yourself by eating even if you do not feel like it. Try to
eat healthful food. However, be gentle with yourself if you find the only things you can swallow are “comfort foods.”
i. Pray and/or meditate. Also, it may help you to remember difficult times you have had in the past and how you coped and survived them.
j. Exercise. If you are walking and focus on looking around you it will help take your mind off your worries.
k. Consult mental health professionals and/or ministers, priests or rabbis.
Consult the appropriate professionals if you are feeling overwhelmed.
l. Try to be around some positive caring people. Ask them if they have time
to listen to you.
m. Remember you have control over how you think. Keep saying to
yourself, I am going to be OK.”
n. Realize that this is a transient period. The shock will wear off some
and you can start taking control of more things in your life.
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4. What would a coach do in this situation?
I will describe how I coached a client in another city who I will call “George.” George is a professional who was laid off from a high-tech consulting firm. During our beginning coaching session he discussed his feelings. He was wondering, “Why me?” “I always received outstanding performance evaluations.” “ Maybe I did something my manager did not like.”
As we talked he indicated he had realized the company had lost some important accounts. I inquired, “How many people have been laid off?” He replied, “About 25%.” As we talked he realized that the others who had been laid off were as new or newer in the company than he was. This fact enabled him to realize this was an economic decision because the company had been losing money since it lost several large accounts.
He was concerned about the best way to tell his new fiancee and their friends about being laid off. We even role-played different scenarios and he practiced what he could say. He committed to telling his fiancee and one friend. Then, he said he would e-mail or phone me to tell me what happened.
The next day he phoned me to tell me that his fiancee was supportive and expressed her confidence in him. His friend was already starting to network with people he knew who might know of someone who had contacts in the high tech community.
At later coaching sessions we discussed and evaluated his abilities, strengths, and goals.
He committed to writing down his reactions and feelings in a journal, exercising, and spending time with positive people. I will continue telling John’s story next month when I discuss “getting into action.”
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5. What about the people who are retained after a layoff?
When layoffs occur people rarely think about the people who are retained. However, the people who are retained are under tremendous stress and need to take good care of themselves. They may be in shock and feel guilty that they still have a job while others do not.
They feel overwhelmed by uncertainty. A main concern is how the work will get done without excessive overtime. In addition, they may feel that they will be laid off soon but are afraid to express that thought to others.
In a future newsletter I plan to discuss the subject of being retained after a layoff in more depth. **********************************************************************
6. Biographical Information
Mary
Alice Hurd, creator of PILOT YOUR LIFE, personal and
professional change coach, and licensed psychologist in the State of
Coaches clients by phone worldwide to pilot their ships utilizing their creativity and abilities at optimal levels. Phone her at 972-690-0442 to schedule a free coaching session.
Presents speeches and training workshops on Managing Unexpected Changes, Career Transitions, Thriving after 55, Discovering and Using your Strengths for Greater Happiness, Finding Your Gifts and Talents, Making the Most of “Your Time,” Networking for Fun and Success, or other subjects of interest to your group. Contact her by e-mail at maphurd@mail.smu.edu or phone to schedule your next event.
Earned her degrees in Psychology at
Reprintable when full credit is given.
PILOT YOUR LIFE is intended for informational and educational purposes. It is NOT a substitute for psychotherapeutic or other professional advice and consultation. ^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'
Contact Mary Alice Hurd at 972-690-0442 or at maphurd@mail.smu.edu
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