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Self-Esteem Revisited
Volume 4, No. 3 March 2005
Greetings!
WITH THE BEGINNING OF SPRING I feel
like I am standing on a balcony ringing a big handbell ready to share
announcements of "what's going on." So here goes:
- MY
WEBSITE, www.pilot-your-life.com has
been updated.
- ALL
ISSUES of "Pilot-Your-Life" are posted and retrieveable in
the Newsletter section.
- FOUR
USEFUL and "cool" books have been added to the Resources section.
- A
COLLABORATIVE TEAM of outstanding coaches has established SUCCESS DISCOVERIES.
- PROFESSIONAL
AND PERSONAL GROWTH GROUPS are being formed.
FEEDBACK FROM
READERS about this new format for "Pilot-Your-Life" has been
positive. Some readers have reported experiencing situations similar to
those discussed in the February issue, entitled "Women's Relationships
and Promotions." This month I am continuing to discuss the dynamics of
the relationships between women in the workplace. Understanding some of
these dynamics can help both men and women work together more smoothly in
their professional and personal lives.
Improving Self-esteem
 SELF-ESTEEM CONTINUES TO BE AN IMPORTANT FACTOR in our
relationships. In several issues of "Pilot-Your-Life" this subject
has been discussed. This month let's consider how we can improve our
relationships with women by enhancing their self-esteem. We can add to
people's self- esteem by sharing positive, true, and specific feedback
about what we know about them or what we have seen them do. To do this we
must focus on what others are doing instead of focusing only on ourselves.
When we add to another woman's self-esteem it is like putting money or
chips in her self-esteem bank account.
SOME WOMEN
KEEP SCORE of what they do for others and are disappointed when what they
do is not reciprocated in some way. They seem to have a running tally as to
who owes what to whom. If someone we have been "nice to" does or
says something that hurts us we may become furious. At such times we need
to think carefully about whether the other person meant to hurt us, so that
we don't retaliate and ruin a good relationship. When we are upset our body
language, speech, and actions change. Unless we share with the person that
what she said or did hurt us she may be oblivious to why we are upset.
WOMEN WHO TALK
ABOUT how great they are may be trying to increase their own self-esteem.
The women who are listening may feel angry and may start thinking (or
talking privately with colleagues) about how the first woman is
"really not as great as she thinks she is." In order to avoid
disrupting the balance of self-esteem with women at work some women devalue
what they have done when someone compliments them even though it adds to
their self- esteem. The recipient of a compliment such as, "The
presentation of the results of your project was clear and excellent,"
might say, "Oh, I was just lucky to have such an excellent team
assigned to work with me." This team leader is putting lots of
"good will chips" in the self-esteem accounts of team members.
Saying "thank you" for compliments is difficult for some people.
However, a "thank you" and giving credit to the rest of the team
is a win-win procedure for everyone.
IN OUR CULTURE
WE OFTEN NEGLECT to tell others what we admire about them or what they are
doing "right." We are aware that other people tell us when we are
doing something wrong but neglect to tell us what we do right. Each of us
can improve the quality of life for the people with whom we interact by championing
them for what they do well and even complimenting them when they are trying
to improve. One executive woman asked me, "You mean I should tell them
when they are just doing their job?" I replied, "Yes, they need
to know that what they are doing is valued and is good."
LOOKING FOR
WHAT PEOPLE ARE DOING CORRECTLY and letting them know we have noticed can
improve the self-esteem and morale of many people. A by- product is we
begin to feel happier and more optimistic about the people with whom we work,
live, and interact.
My Credentials and Information about
Success Discoveries
 MARY ALICE HURD, Ph.D. coaches successful women who want to
enjoy life and prosperity. I am an executive coach and a licensed
Psychologist in Texas.
After teaching Psychology at Southern Methodist University
for 30 years I enrolled in the MentorCoach Coaching program and have been
coaching since 2001.
FOR THE
BENEFIT OF MY CLIENTS, I have worked with several highly-qualified
independent coaches representing multiple coaching specialties to organize
Success Discoveries. As a collaborative team we provide a broad wealth of
knowledge and expertise for the benefit of our corporate and individual
clients. More coaching opportunities and workshops are being posted weekly
in the shopping cart section of our www.successdiscoveries.com./">Success
Discoveries website at www.successdiscoveries.com.
Tips
- RAISE
OTHER PEOPLE'S SELF-ESTEEM and improve your relationships in all areas
of your lives.
- REVISIT
www.pilot-your-life.com to explore what is there to benefit you.
- GET
A COACH to learn how to be more effective in your life.
- ENJOY
and participate in spring and spiritual celebrations that occur this
month.
- JOIN
one of my Professional and Personal Growth Groups described below.
Professional and Personal Growth
Groups
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MY PROFESSIONAL AND PERSONAL
GROWTH GROUPS are personalized to meet the needs of the group members.
These groups provide a safe haven where the members can be totally honest
with people who are committed to encouraging each other to be the best
they can become in all areas of their lives.
GROUPS MEET TWICE A MONTH over the phone for one hour
to
- enlarge their visions
- share their concerns and wisdom
- accomplish their goals
- experience coaching
- learn coaching skills they can use elsewhere
NEW GROUPS
TO START IN JUNE 2005 include
- Executive women in banks
- Executive women in male dominated organizations
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