PILOT YOUR LIFE, Vol

PILOT YOUR LIFE, Vol. 2, No. 3

March 2003

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NAVIGATE THE OPPORTUNITIES AND CHALLENGES

IN YOUR LIFE

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Welcome to the March issue of PILOT YOUR LIFE. Share it

with others who would like to increase their ability to handle

adverse situations.

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IN THIS ISSUE:

1. Comments from Your Editor, Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.

2. What is Resilience?

3. What are Resilient People Like?

4. Tips to Increase Resilience

5. Dorothy’s Story After Her Husband Died

6. Contact Information

7. Additional Information

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1. Comments from Your Editor, Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.

The international situation is frightening. Many readers have

been dealing with traumatic and difficult situations in their

personal lives at the same time. Our ships are in stormy

waters and we may feel out of control.

We all know people who have had traumatic occurrences in

their lives. Why are some people able to recover from adverse

situations and sail forward purposively in their lives? When

thinking about this question I realized that these people have

more resilience when faced with adversity.

An excellent brochure entitled “The Road to Resilience” is

presented in the URL: http//helping.apa.org/resilience/what.html.

In this newsletter I will discuss some of that research based

information about resilience.

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2. What is Resilience?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult

situations. When people are resilient they seem to handle

crises in positive ways. They have learned to think and act in

ways that help them maintain a good perspective during a

crisis so they do not get overwhelmed and feel hopeless.

We are not born with the trait of resilience but we can learn

to be more resilient

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3. What are Resilient People Like?

Resilient people do not give up. They

(a) have confidence in themselves and feel positive

about themselves. Some of them learned a “Can Do”

approach to life from their parents. When asked to

do something they think, “I can do that,” rather than,

“Can I do that?” Others developed self confidence by

observing people whom they selected as role models.

(b) develop relationships which are based on mutual

trust and caring. When they are embroiled in a difficult

situation they are able to talk about the situation rather

than bottle it up inside.

(c) make realistic plans and implement actions that

move them toward their goals. They are creative

problem solvers. When an adverse situation occurs in

their lives, they have the ability to look at it as a

challenge and an opportunity to learn and grow.

(d) feel grounded and secure in their spiritual beliefs

and practices. Fundamental in their lives is devotion to

a positive force greater than themselves, whether it is

God, a belief in human goodness, oneness with the

universe or some other force.

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4. Tips to Increase Resilience

Some ways to develop resilience are

(a) realize that we may need to change our goals when

negative situations occur. We need to follow the

serenity prayer attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr:

“O God, give us serenity to accept what cannot be

changed, courage to change what should be changed,

and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”

(b) establish good interpersonal relationships and

remember that by helping someone else we are also

helping ourselves.

things to happen in the future. Remember many

unfortunate events are temporary so try to think of

something positive that can come out of it.

(d) do something during a crisis. Trying to ignore

the situation will not make it go away.

(e) learn from our experiences. If the outcome was not

what we wanted, we need to think of different

actions we can take in the future.

(f) take care of ourselves by eating healthy food and

by exercising regularly.

(g) Pray, meditate, or carry out other spiritual practices

that help us feel balanced and whole.

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5. Dorothy’s Story After Her Husband Died

Dorothy’s husband died after battling cancer for three years.

He had handled all the financial matters until the last six

months. After his death, Dorothy felt overwhelmed with so

many things to do and did not know what to do first.

Fortunately, one of her friends suggested coaching and put

Dorothy in touch with me. Together we discussed her

concerns and explored her options. She decided on goals she

would like to accomplish and developed a doable plan.

Dorothy joined a health club and started working out regularly.

She concentrated on eating healthy food. She took courses on

how to manage her finances and has found a financial planner.

Since she had taught in a nursery school for ten years she was

able to obtain a paid part-time job at her church’s preschool.

She has decided that when anyone invites her to do something

she will do it rather than stay at home by herself. Furthermore,

she is learning to do things alone. The first time she went to a

movie by herself was difficult but no one else could go and she

wanted to see that movie. She felt that was a real

accomplishment.

Now, Dorothy is using her coaching to stay focused on

navigating and moving toward her goals while enjoying new

activities and the people she meets on her journey.

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6. CONTACT INFORMATION:

To schedule a FREE coaching session phone Mary Alice at

972-690-0442 or send an e-mail to maphurd@mail.smu.edu

To receive a FREE subscription to PILOT YOUR LIFE

send an e-mail to maphurd@mail.smu.edu with the subject

heading "SUBSCRIBE NEWSLETTER." If you would like

to receive PILOT YOUR LIFE on paper, phone

972-690-0442, give your name and address and ask to be put

on the PILOT YOUR LIFE “BY MAIL” subscription list.

If you do not want to receive this newsletter in the future,

hit "Reply" and put "Do not subscribe" on the subject line.

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7. Additional Information -- Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.

Presents speeches and workshops on: Resilience, Make the

Most of “Your Time," Networking for Fun and Success,

Change Management, Changing Your Career, How to

Enjoy Retirement, or specialized topics of a group’s

choosing.

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PILOT YOUR LIFE is intended for informational and

educational purposes. It is NOT a substitute for

psychotherapeutic or other professional advice and

consultation.

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Although this newsletter is copyrighted, you may retransmit

or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as you do not

change, add or delete one word, including the contact

information. However, you may not copy it to a website

without my permission.

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