Jan03Newsletter

PILOT YOUR LIFE, Vol. 2, No. 1

January 2003

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NAVIGATE THE OPPORTUNITIES AND CHALLENGES IN YOUR LIFE

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Welcome to PILOT YOUR LIFE, a free newsletter dedicated to helping you be the

captain of your ship so you can navigate and pilot your life with maximum success and joy.

This newsletter is coming to you because we have met, worked together or shared some time together. If you want to receive this newsletter in the future please contact me by phone at 972-690-0442, e-mail at maphurd@mail.smu.edu, or send me a note at

1412 Chesterton Drive, Richardson, TX 75080.

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IN THIS ISSUE:

1. Thoughts From Your Editor, Mary Alice Hurd

2. Making a Beginning

3. Two Major Changes and Beginnings for Me

4. Elaine's Thoughts as She Considers Possible Beginnings

5. Tips When Beginnings Start to Take Shape

6. Additional Information

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1. Thoughts From Your Editor, Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.

As the pilot of your life you need to realize that you are in control of your mind. Think about what you want to happen, not what you are afraid will happen. Too many people

seem to be afraid to think about what they want because they are afraid they will be disappointed. They may have a life-long practice of expecting the worst to happen. If we

know what we want, think about it, and take steps toward that goal we are taking control of our minds and moving in the direction we want to go.

In the last three months PILOT YOUR LIFE described the transition process of change which includes an Ending, an In-between or Neutral Zone followed by a Beginning. This

January newsletter will focus on Beginnings.

If you have a story to share please e-mail, write or phone me at the numbers listed at the end of this newsletter. A new year, 2003, has begun. Many of us may have thought about

our support systems as we reviewed what happened in 2002. In the February issue support systems will be discussed.

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2. Making a Beginning

My mother often said, "God doesn't close a door without opening a window." We will not be able to find the open window until we are ready to make a beginning. While we are

in the neutral zone we may get some inner signals of a beginning. We might have an idea, a dream, or an image of an external opportunity. We may feel a resonance within us. When we are ready we will soon find an opportunity.

Some people think they are beginning to do something different but if they check with others who know them well they realize they are perpetuating a former pattern of

behavior. In addition, you can check whether you are using a beginning to avoid an ending or a neutral zone experience.

Sometimes we hear a voice inside that is saying, "You can't do that." This "voice" is sometimes called a "Gremlin." The Gremlin wants to keep everything the same and wants to avoid change. Unfortunately our friends and/or relatives may want things to stay the same and may not want us to change. What they say may be similar to what we "hear" in our own minds. A dear friend successfully embarked on two different new careers between 50 and 70 years of age. She said, "Listen to what others say, but then act the way you believe is right for you."

A personal coach can be an excellent partner while you are contemplating and exploring a beginning. Furthermore, consulting with a coach can help you plan the steps and

actions needed to get started and to be successful.

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3. Two Major Changes and Beginnings for Me.

After I earned my MA in Psychology there were some people in my life who asked, "When are you going to start earning your Ph.D.?" At that time there was no way I could consider going back to graduate school. Then several changes occurred in my life. I decided to leave a position and be a fulltime mother, wife, and homemaker and to consider what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. This was my

in-between time or neutral zone.

That Christmas, I received a card from a friend who included an announcement of an American Association of University Women's scholarship to prepare women to teach in

universities. This looked like a wonderful opportunity. After discussing this opportunity with my husband, I applied for and received the scholarship which changed my life and

started me on the new career of being a psychology professor at Southern Methodist University (SMU).

When I retired from SMU it was an ending to a way of life. I continued important activities such as exercising, eating a balanced diet but I allowed myself time to think about what I valued, wanted to continue, to discontinue and to explore new opportunities. One opportunity I had not expected was to be introduced to a wonderful man who is now

my husband.

After 9/11, I realized I was not using my professional skills. I explored the coaching field and became a personal and professional change coach which enables me to encourage

others who are going through changes. My most recent beginning was when I started publishing this PILOT YOUR LIFE newsletter. ************************************************************************

4. Elaine's Thoughts as She Considers Possible Beginnings

In my November newsletter Elaine shared some of her experiences dealing with her daughter's diagnosis of stage 4 melanoma and the loss of her job. In December, she shared the good news that her daughter's melanoma is in remission. Also she described

some of her thoughts from the neutral zone.

Now Elaine writes, "As I come out of the fog, I have shed parts of my old identity in an authentic and healthy way... The future is still foggy for me. Sometimes I just want to

take some silly government job to make a wage... I may do that to bide some time to sort everything out. But what I would really like to do is something more human relations

oriented than my current resume would suggest."

Thank you Elaine for sharing some of your experiences. My thoughts and encouragement are with you as you explore your options.

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5. Tips When Beginnings Start to Take Shape

a. Take advantage of your opportunities and act.

b. Take things step by step.

c. Begin to identify yourself with the final result.

d. Continue to do what is important to you.

e. Be good to yourself.

f. Use your support systems.

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6. Additional Information -- Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.

Coaches people to pilot their lives utilizing their creativity and abilities.

Presents workshops and speeches on: Change Management, Job Loss, Professional

and Personal Coaching, Enjoyment of "Your Time," Networking for Success,

Management Development, Conflict Management, and Interpersonal Relationships.

Schedule a complimentary coaching session by e-mail at maphurd@mail.smu.edu or by

phone at 972-690-0442 or 972-671-2899.

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Share this newsletter with your friends, family, colleagues or others interested in having more control over their lives. A free subscription can be obtained by sending an e-mail to maphurd@mail.smu.edu with the subject heading "Subscribe newsletter."

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PILOT YOUR LIFE is intended for informational and educational purposes. It is NOT a substitute for psychotherapeutic or other professional advice and consultation. ^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'

or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a

website without my permission.

Reprint permission will be granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form.

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CONTACT INFORMATION:

Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.

Personal and Professional Change Coach

maphurd@mail.smu.edu

Phone: 972-690-0442 or 972-671-2899

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