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Making Choices
Deciding to go to Sri Lanka influenced the choices we made during the
months before we went to Sri Lanka. After we arrived there we learned
that we had new and unfamiliar choices. Our transportation choices
changed. We could not drive a car there. Our choices included walking,
taxis, "put-puts" (the equivalent of a mechanized rickshaw), or offers
of rides from permanent residents. The supermarket was about the size
of Starbucks in the United States with limited choices of everything.
When we returned to the US, we went to a supermarket and strolled
around enjoying the freedom to choose from a variety of products. When
we go into a computer superstore we are overwhelmed with the many
choices of similar products and hope to find a knowledgeable
salesperson to help us decide what to buy.
As mentioned in the introduction, the paradox of choice is that
with so many choices and the freedom to choose we become overwhelmed
and experience less happiness. Sometimes we have so many choices of
what to do in a limited amount of time that we might prefer to give up
our freedom and have someone else tell us what to do. However, since
we cherish freedom we can learn some skills to help us make choices.
Some questions need to be considered. How important is the choice?
Other than ourselves, who will be affected by our choice? How quickly
does the choice have to be made? Is it necessary to make a choice? The
answers to these questions can help us develop criteria to assist in
evaluating various options.
When we have various choices, we tend to be choosers or pickers.
Choosers decide what they want. Then they consider available options
and, if necessary, look for or create an additional choice. Pickers
just look at the available options and think they must pick one of
those instead of looking for additional possibilities.
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Greetings!
Since I asked you if I could send you "Pilot Your Life" I have
added you to the subscription list. I hope you will find this
newsletter useful. "Would you like to go to Sri Lanka for three
months?" My husband's tone was so casual that the question almost
did not register with me. "Sure," I replied. "Where is it?" This
choice resulted in a great adventure on the small island at the tip
of India, where Phil and I consulted with the Packaging Institute of
Sri Lanka. Above, you see me patting a small elephant at the
Elephant Orphanage. In Sri Lanka, we had fewer choices to make in
many areas of our lives than we do back home.
When selecting the name "Pilot Your Life" for this newsletter, I
wanted to remind us that we have control over our lives because we
have freedom to make choices. Barry Schwartz recently wrote "The
Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less." He discusses how having so
many choices can reduce our feelings of happiness. In this issue, we
will consider how we make choices.
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Day-to-day Choices
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 Choices
that we made earlier in our lives have become habits - we take
actions without even thinking about them. Most of us do not need to
spend time deciding whether we will brush our teeth today. We do it
routinely. If we want to make a positive change in our lives such as
exercising more frequently, we need to commit to exercising. Then,
if we can fit it into the routine of our lives we will be more
likely to exercise than if we decide each day whether to exercise or
do something else. Limiting the choices we have to make every day
can reduce personal stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Establishing a procedure for making choices can help us. We can
consider how important this choice is to us and to others who are
close to us. Our procedure can include quickly listing the
advantages and disadvantages of our available alternatives. After we
look at the advantages, we need to consider the cost of not choosing
some alternatives. Today's choice may have a great impact on our
lives in the future. For example, to decide to take a job to earn
quick money and not to go to college may limit our job opportunities
in the future.
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"Satisficers" and "Maximizers"
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Satisficers develop criteria of what would be acceptable for them.
When they find what meets their standards, they will buy that
product or decide on that option. Maximizers have a different
approach. They want to have the best and may keep searching for the
best, which may take too much time and may mean they pass over an
excellent option. Maximizers tend to be unhappy with the choices
they make because they keep thinking there may be some better
options available.
After making a decision about what to buy, or do, we are happier
if we can concentrate on the option we chose and let the other
options go. People who spend their time thinking about what would
have happened if they had taken a different job, or married another
person, tend to be unhappy. They are making themselves miserable and
do not allow themselves to enjoy the good things about the decision
they made. Some people who are deciding where to live may have a
hard time making a decision because they want the perfect apartment
or house. Sometimes we need to choose a place that satisfies most of
our criteria. When we make a decision that is a good one now, it
does not mean that we have to live there the rest of our lives.
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Choose What is Right
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When we understand ourselves it is easier to know what is right and
best for us. We need to put our efforts into doing what needs to be
done and not just talking about doing it. We will have more energy
to accomplish tasks when we are doing what is right for us. If we do
what others want us to do, or worse -- if we do something that we
realize is not right for us, we are sabotaging ourselves and the
results will probably not be positive.
When we are being true to ourselves or to our own intuition we
can "put our best face" forward. Then we can look in the mirror and
feel good about ourselves. Choosing what is right for us can help us
to be confident and positive with smiles on our faces. If we find
ourselves thinking negative thoughts, we need to find some positive
thoughts so we do not become overwhelmed, discouraged and depressed.
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Tips for Choosing
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(1) Develop a procedure for choosing. (2) Evaluate the importance of
the choice. Spend most time on important choices. (3) "Satisfice"
more and "maximize" less. (4) Choose what is right for us. (5)
Present our best faces.
PHONE 972-690-0442 for a FREE COACHING SESSION, about choices you
need to make, or a problem you are facing. Check my web site at
www.pilot-your-life.com to see the titles for speeches and workshops
which I present. Contact me at maphurd@mail.smu.edu for more
information and to schedule appointments.
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