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Balancing our lives?

Volume 5, Number 3 April/May 2006 <= /span>

Greetings!

TRYING TO BALANCE THE MANY ROLES we have can be stressful = and overwhelming. Just when we begin to see the "Light at the end of t= he tunnel" an event may occur which can shift the balance we think we had. My husband, Phil, and I were almost finished checking our 2005 inc= ome tax form. My next project was to write this newsletter. Below you can r= ead about an unexpected event which changed my plans.

THE SUCCESS DISCOVERIES FOR HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE STUDENTS section of this newsletter tells you about a program that can improve the future lives = of students and their parents. Please explore the opportunities and share = it with others.

Unexpected event

A YOUNG GOLDEN RETRIEVER was standing = in the middle of a busy street in Dallas, TX at 8:45 am. One of my clients (Sue) stopped her car and tried to get the dog in her car. The terrified dog just froze. Sue closed her eyes and prayed, "God ple= ase help me save this dog." When she opened her eyes a police patrol c= ar was pulling up behind her. The dog still would not get in her car. The policeman got the dog over to the sidewalk and held her there until Sue drove around the corner to her home, picked up a leash, and returned for the dog. The dog stayed at a neighbor's house (who has several dogs) wh= ile Sue went to work. Early that evening Sue told me about the collarless <= span class=3DGramE>dog . When I told Phil the story he said, "Ca= ll her back and tell her we will take care of the dog until she finds the owner." Sue brought the dog over to us with a bag of dog food.

= WHEN THIS BEAUTIFUL YOUNG FEMALE GOLDEN RETRIEVER arrived at our home we concentrated on making her feel comfortable. She found an old tennis ba= ll and was ready to play. Our 20 year-old male golden retriever (Nuggett) had died in November so before we realiz= ed it we were calling our guest Nuggett.

= EARLY THE NEXT MORNING "NUGGETT" and I started to walk. Nuggett started off at a gallop (about 4 miles an hour)! We learned that she knew and obeyed some commands such as "= sit, wait, and stay." When we clapped our hands she would come running. When we took her to the veterinarian we learned there was no identifica= tion chip on her. Two weeks later we took her to our veterinarian for a phys= ical and discussed other ways we might be able to find the owner. We decided= she probably was from a family with children because she was so excited to = see children. We received phone numbers for two shelters from our veterinarian's office.

= THE NEXT DAY WE RECEIVED another number for a different shelter. When we ca= lled it, we learned a young female golden retriever named "Sally" = had been reported lost the same day my friend found Nu= ggett. They called the family. The family called us and said they would come o= ver to our home immediately. Phil hung up the phone and called, "Sally." The dog jumped up and ran to him wagging her tail vigorously. When I called "Sally" she danced toward me on her hind legs. To us it looked like she was thinking, "They have final= ly learned my name!"

= SALLY WAS SO EXCITED when the couple arrived that it was obvious that Sally w= as their dog. They have a 7 year-old son and a 5 year-old daughter. We wer= e a little sad to see Sally leave. However, she was a delightful, loving, eager-to-please guest. Phil said that he had been thinking about how sa= d he would have been to lose his dog when he was a little boy so he had not = felt she was really our dog. We are happy that we could help Sally find her family where she has lived since she was 4 weeks old.

= THIS EXPERIENCE WITH SALLY reminds me that my life seems to be a series of projects. At times I focus on a project and when it is finished life may appear more balanced. Then, my passion and energy may be directed toward accomplishing another goal or meeting another important deadline. As I reflect on my whole life, I realize that it has been balanced when view= ed as a whole. However, during certain chapters of my life it was not bala= nced equally in all important areas.

Balance from a different perspective <= /span>

WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE a superwom= an or a superman in all areas of our lives. We can learn to share our responsibilities with others. We can learn to ask for help because we do not have to do everything ourselves. Besides someone else may have a be= tter way to do something.

= WHEN WE LEARN WHAT OUR STRENGTHS ARE we can concentrate on using them and delegating what we are less interested in doing, or not as capable to d= o, to someone else. This means we need to give up the idea that we are the only ones who can do a project successfully.

= WE NEED TO LEARN THE STRENGTHS OF THOSE AROUND US so we can provide them w= ith opportunities to succeed and/or do what they like to do. One of my prof= essional clients used this idea with her family. She asked her four children whi= ch chores they preferred. To her astonishment one of her sons said, "I like to take out the trash and garbage." The other three children = were delighted since that was their least favorite chore! =

Relationships and achievement

ACHIEVEMENT IS ALWAYS BEING MEASURED in our professional and work lives. We need to know how our achievement on= the job or on a project is going to be measured. In the area of relationshi= ps being a good listener or being completely focused on the situation at t= he moment is essential but not easily measured. We may need to measure progress in a different way. For example, we can set a goal of having a= one-on-one in depth conversation with three colleagues a week (or with each member= of our family at home).

= RELATIONSHIPS ARE UNIQUE. Sometimes you can build good relationships while accomplish= ing measurable tasks. For example, my former next door neighbor and I devel= oped a wonderful relationship after she asked whether she could pull some of= the weeds in my yard because she had done everything she could afford to do= in her new home. I decided I should at least weed with her. During our wee= ding project we became friends. We started planning and cooking meals togeth= er. We learned it is much more fun to clean a kitchen while we were talking= to each other. Besides we had two clean kitchens! Over these many years we have continued to be supportive of each other, our families, and our la= rger friendship networks.

= WHEN TEAMS WORK WELL TOGETHER and are proud of their work, relationships dev= elop that can continue for a long time. I cherish the relationships I have developed with colleagues while working on important projects.

Evaluate and set priorities

EVALUATE WHERE TO FOCUS YOUR ENERGY. Sometimes it may be a project at work. Another time our energy needs to be focused on caring = for a child, spouse, parent, friend, or lost pet. When we have personal sup= port groups they can help in emergencies. When we help someone else, we do it because we see a need. In the future we may not need help but they may = help others in need. We can all be grateful to the people who have helped us become who we are.

= WE ALSO NEED TO EVALUATE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES we have had. We need to look= for what we have learned from the negative experiences. The experiences may have impacted our lives in ways that we now realize were good. One clie= nt shared with me an experience that occurred earlier in his business care= er over which he had no control. He realizes now that he was then free to = move in a different direction where he developed a career where he was able = to use his creativity and intelligence more fully. <= /p>

= SINCE LIFE IS DYNAMIC AND EVER CHANGING we need to reevaluate our priorities.= We need to continually check with important people in our lives to determi= ne whether their priorities are changing and whether we need to change our priorities so we can help each other move toward our goals. =

Balance tips

Stop trying to be a superman or superwoman.
Learn what your str= engths are and focus on using them.
Look at balance fro= m the perspective of your whole life--not expecting balance every day. <= o:p>
Measure your relationships differently than you measure projects at work. =
Continue to reevalu= ate your priorities and focus on the most important one(s).

Dr. Mary Alice Hurd

RECENTLY A CLIENT said, "I apprec= iate your coaching because I love to grow. You have given me "roadmaps" of how to develop more skills. Mary Alice, you are= so good about allowing me to recognize my strengths. Now, I am more understanding of others. I intuitively use the processes I have learned which enables me to be a better mentor and educator." <= /span>

= DR. MARY ALICE HURD IS AN EXECUTIVE COACH AND LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST. She integrates her experience as an organizational psychological consultant= and 30 years as a psychology professor at Southern <= st1:PlaceName w:st=3D"on">Methodist Unive= rsity. She received her coaching training in the MentorCoach program. Mary Ali= ce has been coaching individuals and groups over the phone since 2001. Als= o, she presents workshops and speeches to organizations and groups. (For further details click on biography.)

= MARY ALICE IS AFFILIATED with Success Discoveries. Success Discoveries is a consortium of highly-qualified independent coaches representing multiple coaching specialities. As a collaborative t= eam we provide a broad wealth of knowledge and expertise for the benefit of corporate and individual clients. Click on www.suc cessdiscoveries.com for more information.

Success Discoveries for High School and College Students <= /span>

<= /span>

GRADUATIONS ARE TAKING PLACE. Many graduates are feeling, "Now, what am I going to do?" Did you know that 50% of all college students change majors at least once which extends both the time to graduate from college and the cost of education! And, after graduation, over 30% change careers!

S= UCCESS DISCOVERIES HAS COMBINED the power of assessment tools with proven techniques for identifying and pursuing career options that allow a person to excel and experience fulfillment without the missteps.=

C= OMMENTS FROM OTHERS who have experienced our program. From a mom who has had = two of her children (honor students) complete the program in high school: "This is a must for every student. Excellent and worthwhile!" From a college student near graduation without a clear plan: "This is incredible and extremely insightf= ul. I have several friends that will be calling." From a junior in h= igh school: "The assessment results were very helpful and fun to read about myself. I've got some work to do to choose the best career opti= ons for me but I feel much better about how to do the research and the ca= reer options that were suggested through the assessment results really helped." From the dad of a senior high school student after read= ing the assessment results: "Have you been living in my house for the past 15 years? This is incredible and so on target!" = Learn more. <

MY PERSONAL ENDORSEMENT. I took some of these assessment tools and discovered things about me that I had not realized. I learned how to = use a new strength to enhance my personal effectiveness.

P= LEASE PHONE ME AT 972.690.0442 or Carl Nielson at 972.346.2892 for addition= al information.

= ;

email: maryalice@successdiscoveries.com =

phone: 972-690-0442

web: http://www.p= ilot-your-life.com
http://www.successdiscoveries.com

A= PRIL'S RAIN IS BRINGING THE FLOWERS THAT BLOOM IN MAY. These two months are exciting because we see nature in all its beauty. It is a time when we can think about what we want to enjoy and accomplish during the summe= r. It is a good time to get a coach to be your partner in setting and attaining your goals more effortlessly and quickly. Phone me at 972.690.0442 to schedule an appointment for a free coaching session to discuss where you are and where you want to be in your lif= e. Mary Alice

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Hurd Consulting | 1412 Chesterton Dr. | Richardson, | TX | 75080