PILOT YOUR LIFE, Vol. 2, No. 4
**********************************************************************
NAVIGATE THE OPPORTUNITIES AND CHALLENGES IN YOUR LIFE
************************************************************
Welcome to the April issue of PILOT YOUR LIFE. Share it with others to help them understand the personal strengths which can help them pilot their lives. **********************************************************************
IN THIS ISSUE:
1. Comments from Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.
2. Thriving over 55
3. Tips to Control Our Thinking
4. Biographical Information
**********************************************************************
1. Comments from Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.
During March our armed forces entered Iraq. Most of us know someone who has been affected profoundly by these hostilities. Under these circumstances it may be difficult to feel we are piloting our own lives. We need to continually remember that we have struggled through stormy seas before. We need to think about what helped us get through those difficult times.
In March I wrote about how resilient people handle crises in positive ways. One tip I included was “feeling grounded and secure in our spiritual beliefs.” While coaching clients this month I realized many of these resilient people are over 55 or are adult children of parents over 55. These people who are “thriving over 55” are the ones who “thrived” before they became 55.
In his book entitled “Authentic Happiness” Martin Seligman discussed virtues that are accepted by almost all religious and philosophical traditions. These virtues include wisdom and knowledge, courage, love and humanity, justice, temperance, and spirituality. Then he discusses strengths which can be developed to help people achieve these virtues. This month I am going to write about using the strengths of optimism, creativity, and humor to help us pilot our lives more successfully.
**********************************************************************
2. Thriving Over 55
Research studies have shown that optimistic people tend to live longer. Studies of optimistic people found they interpreted the bad things that happened in their lives as being transient, controllable, and specific to the situation. Pessimistic individuals believe that the bad things that occur in their lives are uncontrollable, will affect every thing in their lives, and that bad things will continue to happen. Optimistic people perceive the good things that happen to them as permanent, universal and hopeful. They expect good things will be happening soon. One manager who was laid off from a job in California decided to hire a professional coach to help him explore his options. We considered what he liked to do. He indicated that he always enjoyed fixing things. In fact, he had always been consulted in his organization when something did not work properly. He gathered information and evaluated his financial situation. He realized that with his retirement benefits and some of his savings he could start his own handyman business. Now, he is happy and successful doing what he had always wanted to do.
In today’s world, creativity is useful because we are frequently facing new and different problems and we need to find creative solutions. Many people are so busy doing what has to be done at home and at work that they have not realized they are creative. The first time some people start thinking about the options they have is after they are 55. Usually by then their children are adults. They may start thinking about retirement for themselves or for a spouse. Another group of people have decided to stay single. Whatever their background is, after 55 many people decide to explore areas they have found interesting but never thought about seriously. Sometimes they decide to take courses they never had time to take before. They may decide they would like to start a business. Unfortunately, some changes may occur due to a death or divorce. Individuals who are optimistic and resilient can begin to think about, “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?” One client concluded that now she did not have to think in terms of two people. She has the opportunity to find out who she really is. Another client visualized a cartoon image of a woman kicking up her heels with a big smile on her face.
Recently a client in her 70s said to me, “I don’t want to lose my sense of humor.” Her use of humor is helping her and her family deal with difficult health situations. This woman uses all three of the strengths I have discussed. She has used her creativity to write her autobiography and gave it to her adult children. Because she has developed an optimistic outlook on life she is able to laugh at herself and face situations hopefully. In the past there have been times when she was angry and sad but now she tries to find a positive perspective about events that occur. She has learned she can control how she thinks about what is happening. Her playfulness and humor help everyone with whom she interacts.
Exploring the strengths of optimism, creativity, humor and spirituality within ourselves can help us experience happiness and find the energy to pilot our ships through the rough water and shoals that may surround us. Even if our lives are smooth we can help our fellow voyagers assess their strengths so they can experience more joy and success in their lives.
**********************************************************************
3. Tips to Control Our Thinking
a. Strengthen optimism by disputing negative thoughts that come into our
minds. By challenging these thoughts we can realize they are not a true picture of reality. Then we can realize good things can happen in the future and we can concentrate on optimistic thoughts.
b. Practice being creative and finding different ways to solve problems. Doing this
will enlarge our repertoire of actions that we can choose to take in difficult
situations.
c. Remember when we are in a difficult or grim situation we may be able to laugh
about it next month or next year. Recently a 19-year-old college student asked,
“Why not laugh about it now?”
d. Meditate, pray, and perform the spiritual practices that help us feel balanced and whole. These practices can help us and others to find peace within ourselves and work toward peace in the world.
**********************************************************************
4. Biographical Information
Mary Alice Hurd, creator of PILOT YOUR LIFE, personal and professional change coach, and licensed psychologist in the State of Texas:
Coaches clients by phone worldwide to pilot their ships utilizing their creativity and abilities at optimal levels. Phone her at 972-690-0442 to schedule a free coaching session.
Presents speeches and training workshops on Thriving after 55, Resilience, Making the Most of “Your Time,” Networking for Fun and Success, Change Management, Changing Your Career, or other subjects of interest to your group. Contact her by
e-mail at maphurd@mail.smu.edu or phone to schedule your next event.
Earned her degrees in Psychology at George Washington University, the University of Pennsylvania, and Texas Christian University. She was a psychology professor at Southern Methodist University for 30 years.
^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'
To receive your free subscription to PILOT YOUR LIFE send an e-mail to maphurd@mail.smu.edu with the subject heading "Subscribe newsletter."
If you do not want to receive this newsletter in the future, hit "Reply" and put "Do not subscribe" on the subject line.
^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'
Copyright 2003 Mary Alice Hurd, Ph.D.
Reprintable when full credit is given.
PILOT YOUR LIFE is intended for informational and educational purposes. It is NOT a substitute for psychotherapeutic or other professional advice and consultation.
^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'
Contact Mary Alice at 972-690-0442 or at maphurd@mail.smu.edu
^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^^'^'^'^'^'^'^''^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^'^''^'^'^'^'^'^'^'